The Battle Against Yourself

​You are your own worst enemy.

Let’s face it, most of us are our own worst enemies. That is, we’re highly self-critical. We consistently beat ourselves up, we constantly sell ourselves short, and we don’t give ourselves enough credit for the good that we’re doing in our lives. This self critical pattern of behavior can hold us back from achieving our goals and tapping our full potential.

Another important note about being self-critical—it really gets on the nerves of those people around us. It has a detrimental effect on them in their lives, and it negatively influences how they look at you.

In essence, being self-critical is the exact opposite of being self-compassionate. Compared to self-critical individuals, self-compassionate folks:
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• Perform better.
• Are more resilient.
• Feel less depressed and/or anxious.
• Have better relationships, feel more secure in relationships, get along with people more effectively.
• Are more emotionally intelligent and less egocentric.
• Are more satisfied with life.
• Are better able to take risks, are less afraid of failure.
• Learn, grow, and develop more effectively.
• Are better at providing social support.
• Are psychologically healthier overall.

According to compassion research, self-compassion involves three parts:

Self-kindness
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A conscious attitude of kindness; being understanding and nurturing to yourself instead of harshly critical and judgmental. It is not self-indulgence or self-destructive pleasure seeking; you do things that truly make you feel better and sustain you.

Common Humanity
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You realize it’s not just you; everyone has challenges, makes mistakes, and feels down and inadequate; see yourself as part of a larger whole.

Mindfulness
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• Give yourself a break (Note that this doesn’t mean giving yourself a “get out of jail free” card all the time).​​

(A Get Out of Jail Free card is an element of the board game Monopoly which has become a popular metaphor for something that will get one out of an undesired situation.)

• Be kind to yourself.
• Choose to be genuinely kind.
• Have “crucial conversations” and say difficult things when you need to.
• Practice mindfulness.
• Practice self-forgiveness.
• Have common decency and empathy.
• Be honest and look at the big picture.
• Recognize your needs and balance them with others.
• Focus on the process—on consistently trying to live according to your deeper values and principles, accepting that it won’t be perfect.

​Cheering on you! Stay safe and healthy! God bless!

To a better you!